I don't know what to do to my hair?

Hey. So my hair looks really weird naturally - like its kinked in random places, it's kind of frizzy but flat at the same time. I mostly straighten my hair to get rid of the ugliness, or even curl it sometimes (mostly straighten it). Anyhow.. I need to stop straigtening my hair so much. I'm scared I'm going to damage it, and I know that over time my ends will start frizzing and the strands will frizz and feel all bumpy. The real question is, What can I do to my hair to make it look pretty, without murdering it with a straightner? Please help. I've tried to clip parts back, the parts at the front that look out of place, but then it looks even worse. I've tried plaiting the front and letting it hang, but the rest of my hair just looks terrible. I wish it didn't kink at the ends, is there any way (apart from straightening) that can help with random kinking? I don't want a list of products - I'm not going out and getting any gels or cream for my hair, I'd prefer to do something else. If anyone can help, it would be great. Thanks.